Are you sitting comfortably? I’ll bet you are. Or if not, you pretty soon will be! Because we humans like our comforts don’t we? We live in nice homes that we fill with cozy furniture and surround ourselves with things and people that we feel at ease with.
This week’s Post is all about being comfortable or, more particularly, your comfort zone, how it limits you and how you can break out of it.
There are two types of comfort – physical, where we want to experience wellbeing, and emotional where we just feel right about or simply accept what we are doing.
In the second type, some people – not us of course – are actually only comfy being miserable, moaning about life or complaining about their health. You know them, don’t you? Even uncomfortable clothing can be comfortable if it gives us an emotional check mark that we are conforming to fashion.
It’s the same with work or business projects: we get settled into a job and a particular way of doing things. We know the people we like to work with and avoid those we don’t.
We stick with it because it becomes our comfort zone – the set of things we are prepared to do without becoming anxious – inhabiting an area where it seems there’s no sense of risk.
And, as I’ve suggested, it doesn’t even have to be nice in there – plenty of people wallow in comfort zones of poverty, inadequacy and misfortune, with no apparent desire to get out.
All these things confirm our way of seeing the world. They’re really just a variation of ‘habit’ – things that we do repeatedly till they become the norm and we are stuck in a rut performing them – and they are nearly always way below what we are capable of achieving.
We opt for a totally unfounded sense of security, a form of mental conditioning that leads to stagnation and boredom. But we feel safe. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that even when great, positive things happen outside the realm of what makes us feel OK, we somehow sense that it’s not quite right – it becomes uncomfortable at an unconscious level, if you like, and we yearn to get back to the ‘old ways’.
People even have different levels of comfort when dealing with money. If they are used to a certain level of income any additional earnings may simply have to be disposed of through unnecessary purchases in order to stay in the zone.
Studies suggest, for example, that the vast majority of people who unexpectedly come into big money – such as from winning the lottery – are actually ill at ease with their new found wealth.
On the surface, they may tell you they’re over the moon but it’s surprising how many of them then devote their energy to what seems to be almost a frantic effort to get rid of their money and, as the Beatles would say, ‘get back to where you once belonged.’ And most of them succeed too, losing their money and personal relationships along the way!
The comfort zone is the norm and most people live there every day.
It’s as if we are linked by a giant piece of elastic that pins us near the centre of a comfort circle. As we get nearer and nearer to the edge of that circle – the boundary of our comfort zone – the more powerful is the ‘pull’ that holds us back.
The truth is that our unconscious, instinctive behavior is to maintain our comfort zone. What lies beyond though is a fantastic world of change and opportunity. But we need to make a conscious effort to escape.
If you’re reading this, chances are that pretty well all of the things you want to achieve in life lie outside of these boundaries, don’t they?
For, no truly great people live permanently inside the comfort zone. If they find themselves in it, they pretty quickly move out. Indeed, there are some who almost relish being in unfamiliar territory.
Competitive athletes are a prime example of people who push themselves by sheer force of will beyond their existing comfort zone to achieve success. They are prepared to travel through the pain barrier for the benefits of what is on the other side.
And, guess what. One they’ve gone beyond their previous boundaries they find themselves in territory which, after a while, feels just as comfortable as their previous zone. So they push themselves forward again.
It’s the same thing that motivates explorers – past and present – astronauts and entrepreneurs. They provide powerful examples that can help us identify our own comfort zones and teach us how to break through to new and exciting areas of growth and prosperity where we will feel truly at home. Invariably, that’s what successful people have done to achieve their dreams and goals.
As you might expect from previous classes, the comfort zone is born out of mental conditioning, your mind set. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, insecurity, keep us inside. And eventually we stagnate, accepting our situation as if there was nothing we can do about it.
But there is. Here’s a fairly simple four-step process I’ve found to be very effective in tackling this stagnation, enabling people not only to step outside of their personal comfort zones but also to reach a point where they find those old behaviors unacceptable – and they never want to go back.
Identify
First all, you need to know where the boundaries are of the comfort zones you want to change. It’s not really that difficult to do. Mostly we already know them as the situations and circumstances we consciously try to avoid. But, just to be sure, spend some time imagining yourself in a situation where you’d really like to be. For example do you want to be able to mix well socially? Mentally put yourself there right now. How does it feel? Are you cringing a bit inside? Or how about being a stock market investor. Can you feel what it’s like to place some of your hard-earned money on a stock? Do you have the jitters? If so, then you’re outside your comfort zone.
Small steps
Some people are capable of just bursting through the boundaries of their comfort zone but for most of us the challenge is better met by taking small steps. Select a realistic, realizable situation where you feel modestly uncomfortable and actually put yourself in it. This could be something for instance like speaking in public – not a stadium full of people just a small gathering of friends or associates. Even if you can’t positively identify your boundaries, just think of something you do regularly – even eating, smoking or drinking (the sort of things from which some people think they derive comfort) and decide you’re going to do things differently from now. Experience proves that most of our fears or concerns are more imagined than real; so tell yourself that what has been holding you back is nothing more than a set beliefs, without any foundation. Just do it.
Repetition
The first time you move out of the comfort zone won’t necessarily be easy – that’s why most people never do it. But the fact that you are reading this is evidence enough to me that you do want to break out. And your reward is that the second time you repeat your chosen action it will be less painful. And the third, and so on. Eventually, you will discover that you are now comfortable with something that previously terrified you. It has become your new comfort zone and you never want to return to the old you!
Moving forward
Successful people share a number of common characteristics. One of them is that they never ‘stand still’. They are always looking for new opportunities and challenges, even if these lie outside of their personal comfort zones. The same must apply to you if you are to achieve the success you strive for. Now that you have extended the boundaries of your comfort zone, you must do so again – first within your ‘test’ situation and then with other new challenges you have identified. If you keep on doing this you will set up the mind set that makes you comfortable at the higher levels of activity and achievement.
The great thing is that once you are comfortable about feeling uncomfortable, so to speak, you will find you have the courage to apply this to pretty well any situation where you might previously have been held back.
Expelling your unfounded beliefs will provide the confidence and strength to move into new territory and with that comes the invisible attraction of success and wealth. When you exude confidence and determination, people and circumstances just behave differently – in your favor.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to our RSS feed! 
Nice website!!